on easy isolation

life has been pretty crazy the last couple months. basically my weeks consist of five fourteen hour days and then sleeping the weekend away. friends are not on the top of my list right now. yet, i can't shake the feeling that even if i didn't have fourteen hour days, i still wouldn't have friends. my crew left me over some misunderstanding and even after i fixed it they chose not to associate with me. i have to admit that stung. i cried. i was bitter. i moved on despite their periodic interruptions into my life. that took care of about seventy percent of my social life. then my friend r fell in love. i couldn't be more ecstatic. but as experience has taught me, it is only a matter of time before the strain of love takes care of our friendship too. this one, is a peaceful separation. who do i have left? ah yes, habibi. i do not say that name with bitterness. i just find it all too funny that everything he ever said was a lie. "i'll wait for you," "you're worth waiting for." only to have him surprise us all with his new girlfriend at a christmas party. my sides still hurt from how hard i laughed. i guess its my fault, i stopped even wanting to be his friend a very long time ago and i guess that he picked up on it. then there is cypher. who masochistically persues a relationship with the vindictive siren, also known as my soul's worst human enemy. i think i'm going to just leave him to his pain. we are at ninety percent. the last strange kindred soul is athena. why she wants anything to do with such a sad little person as myself is beyond me. but ill be waiting, because as i have stated before...everyone leaves, everyone. the oddity of it all is that for the first time in my adult life, i relish isolation. its pain is a balm. if it weren't for my family, i'd just pick up and leave. lolololol.