Just like in rehab (from what I have heard), some days are better than others. The hard days are made more bearable knowing that God loves me. He has really been working in my heart. Reviving my self-esteem and reminding me of who I really am in Him. "He who began the good work in you is faithful to complete it."
I keep daydreaming. I daydream when I'm hurt and I am trying to resolve the unresolvable. I really had no idea how attached I was to my friends and how screwed up my priorities were. Having virtually no friends, save r, to confide in and hangout with and realizing that they left me without warning really does a number to my heart. The upside is that "God works things out for the good of those who love Him" I am now distractionless. My prayers have gone from "dear God don't let my parents find out" to "dear God, I'm lonely, can you fill this hole in my heart." I think the latter is more conducive to spiritual growth.
More and more, my ear is tuning in to what God has to say. He has my full attention. Yes, I am a little hurt and saddened, as much by my actions as by the actions of the others. To say that I am not would be falsehood, but as always God is there to rescue me. Each day seems a little bit brighter. A little less fuzzy. A little clearer.
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