Sigh

OK. So maybe that's not my motto. It's a woman's prerogative to change her mind right? Or it could be up to God to change it for her. We basically had service at my house and it was amazing. While I was praying, I got a pretty profound nugget of wisdom. "Loneliness isn't some cross to bear. The single martyr's burden. It is a hole that only Jesus can fill." 

Deep right? Definitely wasn't from me. It made me realize how needy I've become. Emotionally and spiritually. I need constant attention and I pout like a five year old if things don't go my way. I realized that people aren't puppets to be manipulated. I had taken my focus off of Jesus. Maybe loneliness is really our Spirits hungering after God only we get the message all screwed up. I just remember sitting there with this urgent need to grow up and be an adult. Kind of liek that Bob Newhart skit. STOP IT. JUST STOP IT. 

Its high time I "Accept what I cannot change, and change what I cannot accept."

What I learned most on this resurrection Sunday? You can't hold on to your past and keep walking towards the future. The past is only so stretchy. You only miss out on what your not paying attention to at the moment. Was there an amazing service at Wave? No doubt! Could I have been hanging out with some awesome godly people at Starbucks (yay TDF!)? Of course! But that wasn't what God wanted. Just because there are a lot of things to do, and just because they are all good, doesn't mean you need to do them all. I'm learning to be in the moment. To ask God what He wants me to do and where He wants me to be. I guess you can say I learned a lot this weekend. :)